Even though we hadn't done it for a long while, she had only renegged a few times because of circumstances (i.e., too many people around, not convenient, etc.).I waited until after everyone was in bed and apparently asleep. Practically all of us slept in the nude upstairs. Only the older girls in their teens seemed to bother with putting anything on and that was usually just panties. It was dark, but I knew my mother would probably be nursing the youngest since I had heard her crying earlier. Without thinking about putting anything on, I sneaked down the front stairs and up the hallway to my parent's bedroom. Her room was dark, but I could hear her putting the baby back in her crib. I figured she had just nursed her again to get her to go to sleep. Her door was partially open so I could hear her moving back to the bed. She would have been 46 years old at this time.I spoke up saying, "Mother, could I come in?"This apparently startled her, but upon realizing who I was seemed to calm. "When I didn't develop along with the other girls, he made me feel more special than all of them put together," Cate continued. "When I felt I wasn't as pretty as anyone else, I felt that no one else mattered, just as long as I was pretty enough for him. Hell, even when I had my first menstrual cramps, I went to him instead of my mother. He simply held me and asked me what was wrong. Instantly the pain just drifted away and I could relax again. Of course I was too embarrassed to tell him what was bothering me. Luckily I had lots of older sisters to give me the lowdown on all the details, and a sympathetic mother who'd instructed plenty of other daughters so there weren't any unnecessary questions. But everything was OK because I'd gone to see him first, before anyone else."You guys are going to have a hard time with Alex when you have your periods," she warned, although she smiled broadly when she said it. "Although he can relieve the pain almost right away, he's never gotten used to.
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